No one is coming to save you…until you ask for help

“No one is coming to save you.”

I always thought this was a motivating, if not somewhat patronizing, phrase in the self help world. This idea that no one is coming to save you, and that you’re on your own…it stings with a dose of reality.

It reminds us that self-help is exactly that: self-help. Personal development is a personal choice.

No one can get fit for you. Not one can get financially literate for you.

All true. But my perspective has shifted lately.

As a content creator, I’ve realized that there are actually tons of people out there trying to “save” you.

Actually, people ARE trying to save you

There are vast amounts of authors, podcasters, Youtubers, coaches…who are trying to reach you with their message.

They’re practically begging for the chance to inspire you, to guide you, to be the catalyst for your success story.

Sure, there’s often a price tag attached.
But there’s also a mountain of free help out there:
Free articles, podcasts, newsletters, workshops, even free consultations.

It’s like an all you can eat buffet of self-improvement if you’re willing to step up to the table.

But the author can’t make you read their book.
A financial coach can’t make you budget.
A trainer can’t make you exercise.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

People are trying to help, but they can only meet you when you’re ready.

Meeting the help halfway

It’s technically not true that no one is coming to save you.

If you collapse on the street, someone will likely rush to your aid.

But that’s not the kind of “saving” we’re talking about here, is it?

We’re talking about the internal battles we wage, the ones no one else can see unless we speak up.

Most modern problems are invisible—depression, loneliness, debt.
You’d be surprised how many Americans live on the financial edge, scraping by paycheck to paycheck.
And you wouldn’t know that from their exterior life, or what they share on social media.

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. —Thoreau

If you’re living such quiet desperation, it’s time to dial up the volume.

I like Chris Rock’s observation that people are more likely to help when they see you helping yourself.

My takeaway isn’t that asking for help doesn’t work. There’s great power in the ask, especially when you embrace that asking is free. But I think Rock’s idea is that sometimes we need to really externalize the help we’re looking for.

That’s why I asked my community to help me find my love — and they delivered in spades.

Before that, I never really owned the desire that I truly wanted to meet my soulmate.

Thoreau’s “lives of quiet desperation” might be a bit dramatic. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that most of us lead quiet lives with hidden desires and struggles. We keep our dreams tucked away, afraid of their bigness. Afraid of what expressing them might mean, or cost us.

But there’s also a danger in waiting for your hand to be forced.

Hearing your own call for help

There’s a romantic notion from narrative tradition: the universe will call on an ordinary person to start their hero’s journey.

This narrative trope then follows: the refusal of the call.

Think of Frodo’s initial reluctance to bear the One Ring in The Lord of the Rings, or Luke Skywalker’s insistence on staying on Tatooine in Star Wars.

Even Harry Potter initially balks at the notion he’s a wizard destined to fight Voldemort.

Then the hero’s world crumbles.
Their loved ones are threatened, or their very existence imperiled.
Forcing the hero to finally start their hero’s journey, the one they were always meant to take.

But that is fantasy.

The reality is that for you and I, the call to action is not a booming voice from the heavens.

Life is not a television drama in which a friend shakes us by the shoulder to wake up to the call.

(Your friend also bears a great risk if they don’t know if you want help…)

But here’s the kicker: if you’re feeling that need for a radical shakeup, that yearning for someone to intervene and change your life…then you’ve already won half the battle.

You’ve acknowledged that you need help, and that’s a powerful realization.

Maybe the call to start the next part of your journey is not some grand display from the universe, but rather, a quiet whisper from your inner being.

Because the truth is, someone is trying to save you.

And that someone might just be you.