Communal dreams: your ideal community is closer than you think
Don’t look too far in the distance – or future – for community.
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Relationships and Dating
That’s the spot. That’s not the spot.
Borrowing the language of the physical to resolve the emotional.
Shit. I Was a Rebound.
This letter should thoroughly describe why we couldn’t work. You wanted raw honesty, here it is: you were my rebound. I must have read that line a hundred times. It was a turbulent Summer 2013. My ex at the time just broke up with me. After doing the most ridiculous thing I did to any …
5 Books for Men Recovering from the Pickup World
Some of you might know that I once did an experiment reading as many pickup books as I can, in order to curate and summarize the best dating advice for men (read: myself). My brain got fried. The pickup artist (“PUA”) books repeated some unhealthy patterns: Senseless routines and scripts on what to say to …
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Sunsetting: the art of ending ambiguous relationships
If you’ve ever wanted to see a man ugly cry, you should’ve seen me on the LA Metro last summer. The wave of emotion hit me after I sunsetted yet another relationship. We met at a park to say goodbye in person. We weren’t a couple, so it didn’t feel like a breakup. But it …
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You are more than Tinder.
It’s like I’m trained by Pavlov. The alluring tinkle of Tinder’s notification sends a dopamine hit to my brain. I pull out my phone. I judge, I swipe, I edit my profile one more time. Sometimes a nice conversation happens. Sometimes a date happens. But lately it feels like I have a more significant relationship …
How not to talk to your single friends
Dating sucks. Unwarranted advice from friends and family make things worse. They mean well. But they often get the whole “empathy” thing wrong. Years ago, a conversation with a friend shed light on how I was doing this to others… Friend: I just got a divorce. Me: I’m sorry man. That must really su— Friend: …
Happy, Alone
“Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.” – Alice Koller, American Writer. I didn’t always like being alone. Immigrating to America at the age of six, I …