Unclear timing is the kryptonite of new relationships.
We should hang out sometime
Yeah totally…*New relationship energy disappears into a black hole
I once wrote that the only dating metric that matters is how often two people decide to see each other.
When I get stuck in my goals, the most useful type of accountability I get is to be asked:
“By when are you going to do this?”
Thinking in terms of “By When” is a way to leverage specificity to achieve a goal.
Timing is the last step of what you’re going to do, how you’re going to do it, and (ideally) why you’re doing it.
When my Landmark coach asked By When? on my projects, I ended up starting Hippiecritical.
Heck, my NaNoWrimo challenge is the philosophy of By When put full into practice.
If there’s no sense of “By When,” then how are we supposed to build a community, decide to travel or eat any tacos?
Time clarifies everything.
Yet…time alone is not enough
Imagine giving yourself a clear deadline on a big project…but there’s no motivation to be found. What gives?
If the motivation is not clear, then you will be stopped in your goal and blow past timelines.
By When can be the lead domino that reveals whether the underlying desire is enough.
In my post on input vs output goals, I call out input goals as the preferred method of managing a goal. Because it’s what you can control.
However, output goals – having a milestone to look forward – can be a key ingredient in maintaining motivation.
In short, “By When” depends on “But Why? ”
Note: By When thinking = great for analyzing how to spend your time or how hard to work. However A lot of this can fly out the window in social situations, where it might be better to just Go First.
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